Sunday
morning radio sports radio call in show.
Sid:
today’s Sports Hero is a great young guy that put down a remarkable time at
this weeks Rottweeler Rockford Out and Back bicycle race. (clears throat) Here are the results:
8th
Dan 32:30
7th
Jim 31:24
6th
Craig 30:38
5th
John B. 29:40
4th
Bob 29:22
3rd
Ed 29:21
2nd
Steve 29:18
1st
John C. 29:13
He’s been a rising star for some time so let’s
welcome John Carline.
John C. Thanks Sid.
It’s great to be on the show and here’s a shout out to my other Rott’s…
Boo Yah!
Sid: Tell us about the race.
John C. Well it wasn’t the best course to match my
style. You know hilly and winding all
over the place. I guess that was proven
when some of the slower riders almost caught me.
Sid: Well we’ve got two
other callers on the line. Go ahead
Steve and Dan.
Steve and Dan: did you see the course Sid. What a train wreck. First we were going to Hamel then
Hanover. It’s a wonder we held the race
at all.
Sid: All you geniuses out
there think you can run a race. Well,
Jim Smith is the Bobby Knight of race directors and you so called bike racers
are lucky to have him. He can only put
these races on with that talent that shows up.
With just one more decent rider he could take that bunch of goof offs to
the Rose Bowl. Let’s hear from the next caller.
John B. Hi this is John from Delano. Long time listener, first time caller. Love the show today. Anyway, what’s with these aerobars? I’ve got gears and everything but I don’t get
the handlebar add-ons.
Sid: It’s called cheating John. Riders that use these are trying to make up
for lack of ability and training. Go
ahead and take two minutes off your time to even things out. And how about a silver butter knife steak at
Murray’s.
Our
next caller wants to talk about soccer.
Go ahead Pablo….
8/1/2013 Tour of Medina Day 3 – Double Butterfly
And
there they are rounding the 2nd turn and into the stretch they
come. 'U can't wear my schoos' leads by a body
with Carline and 'Fast Eddie' neck and neck, another length back
was 'Jimbolya Smith' and 'Hokanson' neck and neck, 'Craig Gust of
Something' had thrown his rider at first turn and was running
rider-less with the pack.
In
the stretch, 'U Can't Wear my schoos' continues his torrid
pace as Carline gains, 'Jimbolya Smith' gains separation
from 'Hokanson' and 'Fast Eddie' come up lame. 'Craig Gust of
Something' continue to run free with the pack.
And
down the stretch, 'U Can't Wear My Schoos' can't be caught today and wins the
race, Carline places and 'Jimbolya Smith' pulls away for the show.
'Hokanson' cross the finish line and immediately heads for the green pastures
of the ranges. 'Craig Gust of Something' gains and finishes after
Carline, but is lassoed soon after.
Rider
First Turn (Day 1) Second Turn (Day
2) Stretch (Day
3) Total
Schoo 14:29 30:47
48:48
1:34:04
J
Carline
15:04
32:44
48:29 1:36:17
C
Gustafson 18:00
33:08
51:58
1:42:16
J
Smith
17:09
33:18
53:26 1:43:53
Hokanson 16:20
34:08
57:38 1:48:06
1 Fast Eddie
15:57
31:50
--
--
--
7/31/13 Tour of Medina
Day 2 – Double Rolling Rambler
Quick
update on Day 2 of the TOM….great weather again yesterday and huge crowds (as
always).
Notable
events:
Ed
did not flat.
*Carline
almost flatted (little bit of air in rear tire at finish).
Hokanson
was not arrested and handcuffed.
Carline
practiced his triathlon skills and did a ½ mile post-race run back to
car. Needs more technique study (did his run in his cycling shoes and
pushed his bike).
Pictures
provided evidence that Smith has aged in 20 years – just sayin’
Schoo
and Gustafson still fighting over 40th place out of 35 finishers in
Lemming sprint finish results (but at least they were talking to each other
again).
All
enjoyed a post-race beverage as carb reload for today’s Double Iron Butterfly.
Double
Rolling Rambler Results
Schoo
30:47
combined
45:16
Fast
Eddie
31:50
47:47
J
Carline
32:44*
47:48
J
Smith
33:18 50:27
Hokanson
34:08
50:28
C
Gustafson
33:08
51:08
7/30/13 Tour of Medina
Day 1 – Hill Killer
Schoo
14:29
Carline
15:04
Ed
M. 15:57
Hoky
16:20
Smith
17:09
Gustafson
18:00
7/24/13 Lyndale Lolly
Leg Popper
Waiting for writeup from Schoobie Doo who is
experiencing writers block.
7/17/13 Rebecca One
Lap - MB
Thought
I’d get last week’s race results before this week’s come out. So you
touts, can you guess the order of finish from last week’s ride? Take your
best guess on sheet one and compare your answers on sheet two.
July
17, 2013
Weather
85° F
Overcast
Mosquitos
No
wind
Humid
Lot
of talk about a two lap race that degenerated into one lap. It was going
to be zero laps when Matthiesen took off to get away from the mosquitos.
Carline, Schoo, Smith and Barten quickly followed. Everybody except Smith
had a mechanical or crash. Go figure.
7/10/13 Quad Killer
NOT!
Stardate
July 10, 2013: The temp was favorable around 82 degrees and winds were
light and variable as seven Rott’s (three named John) gathered once again at
the Baker National to tackle the Mother of all Time Trials: the Quad
Killer.
After
a short discussion led by the John with an H (a.k.a., Slow John), the ride was
modified to a Quarter Quad Killer (one Hill Killer lap) followed by a leisurely
road ride and beer. Everyone seemed on-board with the decision, except
Tim; he had shown up to only do one lap and take points from the Weekly
Warriors he knew would do four.
Once
again, John with a C showed the pack what real speed means…although he barely
broke a sweat. Once again the local mounties demonstrated their ability
to change race history with their diligence in traffic law enforcement.
One
Lap Tim:
18:17
*Slow
John:
17:53
Slow
Dan:
16:56
***Colorado
Jim:
16:39
**Pre-Ride Ed:
16:02
Golfer
Craig:
15:54
Fast
John B:
15:23
Fastest
John
C:
14:58
*Time
would have been shorter if not stopped by Three Rivers police for lesson on
stop sign recognition while biking (no ticket
issued!)
**Late breaking entry into sporting history
***Would have been faster had he not stopped hoping to see John
get cuffed.
7/3/13 Rolling
Rambler
Seven
Rott riders showed up on a beautiful summer evening to try and upset the
Carline express. However, it was not to be as Carline again dominated the
field on the Rolling Rambler course.
Detracting
from the John C. dominance theme of the evening, was the family squabble
between Ed and his lovely daughter. Ed, seeking revenge for a previous
thumping pulled out all the stops and attached aero-bars to his racing bike,
while depriving his own flesh and blood of a similar advantage. In
true Rottweeler tradition, the tactic worked and Ed handily pulled away from
Sarah, regaining his status as Alpha male in the Matthiesen household.
Meanwhile,
in the battle of the John’s, John B. edged out John H., but lost to John
C. However, a race protest filed by the Schoo Schoo train casts some
doubt on the validity of the reported John C. time. Via e-mail, John C.
stated that he was planning on riding the course at noon. He was, however
spotted on the course at approximately 4:35, by two very reputable Rott riders,
and observed entering the Baker golf parking lot post ride at 5:07.
Assuming that his start time was 12:00, his official finishing time would have
been 5:07.35, not the 15:00 reported by the racer himself.
In
any event, the final (disputed) race results were:
John
C. 15:00 (Or 5:07:35)
John
B. 15:19
Schoo
15:21
Ed
M. 15:39
Sarah
M. 17:10
John
H. 17:30
Kate
23:01
Rubbing
salt in the wounds of the beaten riders, John C. serenaded us with the
following song to the tune of “The Gambler” by Kenny Rogers:
On
a warm summers evening, on a bike bound for nowhere
I
met up with some Rott riders, who were all geared up to ride.
So
we took turns standing, at corner of the roadway,
until
boredom overtook us and Carline began to speak.
He
said “guys’ I’ve made a habit out of taking off real early,
no
one ever knowing how long I take to ride. I did the Rolling Rambler,
earlier
in the evening, And if you don’t mind my saying,
you’ve
got no chance at all of beating me tonight.
Because
I know how to corner, I know how to climb,
I
Know when to hammer, and know when to glide,
I
never check Schoo’s time when I’m out there on the course,
There
is time enough for stop watching when the race is done”.
6/26/13 = Medina
Angina
The
race: Medina Angina….for most
The
place: Holy Name Lake AKA the Medina Angina place
Time:
5:30 ish
Under
near perfect skies with temps that would melt the shell off a turtle, slight
gale force winds out of the SW changing to the NE when we turned the corner 7
members of the dogpack rallied together for the race of a lifetime.
Earlier in the day Another pack member threatened a co-worker to chase him
around the track to be inspired for what may…or may not…have been a PR…or
something.
Shoo
had a great method to trim the pack by giving false directions. Fast John
spurred himself on by chasing ghosts and Craig use the old “my bike seat broke”
thing so he could be the first back to crack a beer…strategies that would have
brought tears to the eyes of some of the best dopers in the business.
The
results:
Craig
DNF (do not fight??)
Bob
25:56 new course record as well as a new course
Kate
55:05 Excited to finally bury both Craig and Bob with a strong finish
Dan
45:30 This would be the law abiding Dan who came to a nearly full stop to
impress one of Medina’s finest.
Slow
John 45:08 Still looking for more beer
Joe
Bischoff 42:25 AKA the rabbit
Ed
41:20 Taking the high road and riding earlier to swap
the gale force winds with a small modest Tsunami
Steve
39:55 Desperately looking for fast john ahead of him,
dizzy as a bourbon street bum when he got off his bike.
And
the winner of the 2013 Medina Angina with all the rewards, cash prizes, free
car and lap dance…
Fast
John
Carline
39.12 Who will always be the best guy in the world for bringing the
chilled beer for all to enjoy. Today Superman and Fast John were my new
heros.
Nuff
said
6/19/2013 Lyndale
Road Race
Veni:
Weather:
sunny and 80, moderate NW wind
Vidi:
Six riders showed up to take on the Lyndale challenge - John B, Jim, Ed, Bob, Craig and John C.
Six riders showed up to take on the Lyndale challenge - John B, Jim, Ed, Bob, Craig and John C.
Vici:
Six
riders strolled off the start with dreams of
capturing any of the 5 flags on the course and yet leave enough to
finish the race. First flag was at its usual first hill and the
group was gracious to allow only three riders to race for the flag
(JC, JB and CR). Second flag was about half way to the round-about and
before Craig say 'where is the f..', Jim zipped past everyone and Johns
could only follow in his trail (Jim, JB and JC) - causing Craig to change his
tune to 'what the f..'. Third flag was right after the round-about and
Bob led the group around the round-about, but the group relying on the
gravitation pull sling-shot around the turn and past Bob (JB, Jim and
CR). Fourth flag was half-way back and Bob still reeling from the
previous flag maintained enough separation and would not be denied
(Bob, JB and JC). Last flag was at it traditional top of the biggest
hill. By this distance, some separation had occurred with Jim feeling
the affects of Dirty Benjamin and only three
riders raced up the hill. JB gain separation and grabbed the
flag (JB, JC & Bob). The same three struggled together
as they approached the finish and JC gutted out an extra pedal stroke to finish
ahead of JB.
Flag 1 2
3
4
5 F Pts
JC Jim JB Bob JB JC 21
- JB
JB JB Jim JB JC JB
17 - JC
CR JC CR JC Bk BK 11
- Bob
ED 10
- Jim
CR 8
- CR
Jim 7
- ED
acta
est fabula
6/5/2013 – Whimpy
Rain Ride
Delayed
report on the Rott Time Trial of June 5th.
Weather:
Light rain, Wind - SE@10mph, Temp 65 w/100% humidity
Roads – wet, but water below level of bottom bracket;
It
was another in a long string of beautiful early summer evenings as the
dedicated Rottweeler riders gathered for their weekly shower, I mean bike
ride. Despite rainfall for only 12 of the previous 14 hours, and
despite the fact that rainfall terminated as early as 5:15, only three hardy
souls elected to ride.
After
a brief conference, the race committee selected an inaugural ride of the east
half of the iron butterfly as the course for the evening. “I feel
really strong and think I may hit a PR for this course” stated Gravel Grinder
Smith before floating down the hill from Baker Golf. Gravel man was
followed by “I’m too old for this ” John B. and the Schoo Schoo Train.
Smith lived up to his expectations and rode a course PR, holding off a late
charging Old John up the last hill to the golf course. As usual, the
mighty Schoo made up a portion of the time gap to Old John, and also set a PR
for the course.
The
final results found Gravel Grinder Smith joining Schoo and John B on the
podium. “In your face Carline”, stated a gleeful Smith during the awards
ceremony. Having forgotten his cyclecomputer, “no thumbs” Smith
elected to use a sundial to time his ride, resulting in an unusually high
degree of accuracy. When questioned by Biologist Barten, Smith
responded “It’s an engineering thing, you would not understand”. Final
times were:
Gravel
Smith 12:45:37:18 PR – Podium finish
John
B.
11:57 PR
Schoo
11:38 PR
5/29/13 – Medina
Angina
Like
the storms, the Rott attendance was scattered and disorganized. Schoo and Barten showed up about the same
time....but Barten realized he forgot his coconut cover...so he decided to
forgo the risk of injury, and headed home.
Realizing
Carline had ridden during lunch...Schoo was forced to actually race versus a
simple joy ride for 10 points. With no
one else around...he departed, and all was well until he flatted after turning
onto hwy 19. With tools on hand, he
changed the flat, restarted the clock, and was underway. Upon finishing, he saw Ed's van so decided to
ride the course backward to find him.
It
didn't take long...Ed and his daughter Sarah were on the homestretch of Hunter
Rd and in a heated battle. Sarah with a
20 yard lead heading into the final turn back onto 24, but being a bit more
cautious on the corner, gave up her advantage as Ed pulled up alongside. With a look to the left, Sarah dropped the
hammer and left Ed in the dust in the final 100 yards. Mission accomplished...Dad was defeated!
Ed
complained about being 3rd fastest in the family now...started pouting, and
made Sarah drive home.
The
winds were perhaps 10 mph out of ESE...noticeable yes, but not bad.
The
results:
39:21 Schoo
42:47 Carline (blames strong winds at noon...and no
lunch...and heat...and lack of rain)
44:05 Sarah
44:12 Ed
5/15/13 Iron
Butteryfly
Seven gangly riders (not
author) gathered at the gates of Baker National Golf Club for the first running
in 2013 of the Iron Butterfly. Winds were light and variable out of the
west at 15 - 20 mph and the temperature was balmy....meaning no snow was
visible.
In typical and irritating fashion, the three J Men took podium spots with the John's besting the great Smith. Points will be determined at a later date...oh who cares about any stinkin' points?
Scott: 34.30
Tim: 32:40
Dan: 28:12
Ed: 27:42
Jim: 26:48
John B: 25:54
John C: 25:18
This week's ride should be challenging as the Hills of Medina try to claim one or more of the aging riders. Be sure to tune in!
In typical and irritating fashion, the three J Men took podium spots with the John's besting the great Smith. Points will be determined at a later date...oh who cares about any stinkin' points?
Scott: 34.30
Tim: 32:40
Dan: 28:12
Ed: 27:42
Jim: 26:48
John B: 25:54
John C: 25:18
This week's ride should be challenging as the Hills of Medina try to claim one or more of the aging riders. Be sure to tune in!
5/8/13 Hill Killer
Inaugural Hill Killer 2013
Under threatening skies and windy conditions, 5 racers showed up
for the first race of 2013 to appraise their off-season training regimen
amongst each other.
Several had sign-up for the Almanzo 100m gravel ride coming
up in 10 days and so had been training
hard over the winter having logged several hundred miles already. Although admired at first for their
dedication and focus, when explained that it mostly involved riding in snow,
sleet and rain, my thoughts started to channel the Hokanster - crazy people. Jim in particular was the king of the crazies
having completed 100+ miler in foot of snow.
This versus slumbering over the winter and letting the synovial fluid
percolate back into the joints with the exception of being coaxed into an
ill-advised 5 mile pseudo first race in sleet condition.
Race started with John C in consideration of safety first and
anticipation of wet conditions had brought the cross trail bike (Ok, lazy to
get racer out) and thus volunteered to be the rabbit for the hounds. In the end most enjoyed the rabbit meat
except for Jim who could only smurf the rabbit tail.
Rider Time Pts
Steve 15:48 10
John B 16:08 9
Craig 16:57 8
John C 17:19 7
Jim 17:25 6
4/24/13 Carline
Chaser
We
had 7 riders for the inaugural snow/sleet/rain sprint.
John
B, John C, Ed, Craig, Bob, Steve, and Jim set out with the intention of riding
to the roundabout and then having a wind ride TT back to Lyndale followed by
libations at the Ox Yoke Inn.
We
got about 2/3 of the way to the round-a-bout before the pull of draft beer
combined with punishing winds called for a revision of Plan A.
Plan
B consisted of 60 second intervals starts from where we turned
around. John C volunteered to go first. About 10
seconds after he left the shivering remaining riders implemented Plan C, which
was to ride in a pack and catch John C.
There
was a lot of back and forth jockeying for the entire 4 miles with wind aided
speeds sometimes approaching 20+ miles per hour.
In
the end the rumor is that Schoo might have taken first place, but it was hard
to tell in the driving sleet, so we decided to call it a 7 way tie and award 10
points to all riders (with the exception of John C. who will be docked 2 points
for starting early).
The
Ox Yoke was quite crowded as we didn't realize that Wednesday is "date
night" in Lyndale. They were able to accommodate us and the
beer was quite good. I would recommend the Crow River Halibut.
