8/21/2012 - Hill Killer

Beatiful evening for a ride, 77 degrees F, minimal wind from the NE, not much humidity, few bugs.

Traffice report.  In addition to the always interesting corner of 24 and 19, Bob got into a traffic jam when a police car coming from the opposite direction caused cars to pull over into the bike lane.  Big traffic jam from 2 haywagons on the third leg.  Not sure who all was affected. 

With the three top contenders within 8 seconds of each other, and Ed, Bob within a second of each other, there was much discussion of the exact location of the finish line.  Wild speculation about what each dog could have done differently to change those precious seconds.


1.  Steve    14:39
2.  Pete      14:41
3.  John C  14:47
4.  Slow John  15:06
5.  Ed         15:18
6.  Bob       15:19
7.  Kate      19:16

8/14/2012 - Elm Creek Mountain Bike TT

Elm Creek mountain bike TT results:

After three consecutive rainouts, the absence of Mr. Smith apparently kept the trail dry for the final Rott mountain bike time trial of the year at Elm Creek.  Although rain threatened, it was a wonderful evening for biking.  As the Dog’s lined up to weave their way through 12 miles of trees, grass and dirt, the excitement was palpable.  Constant Kate elected to ride the 8 mile loop, so The Only John, faced Nobody leading the way, and Nobody following him.  “Nobody was really looking strong at the start line, but my legs felt good, so I liked my chances” stated Only John.  Waiting the requisite 1 minute, Only John, started out fast determined to chase down Nobody.  A few minutes later Kate also headed out also chasing Nobody.

“My strategy was to stay ahead of Nobody and ride under control through the bike grabbing trees in the Grizzlyland section of the course and then hammer for home” stated Only John after the race.  “That strategy worked to perfection as I caught Nobody in the open area, and was able to pull away from Nobody without even working hard.  Nobody really gave it a great effort, but I was just too strong tonight.   It is sure a lot more fun totally beating Nobody than getting thumped by John C in the TOM.”

Meanwhile, Kate was totally dominating her competition and completely left Nobody in her dust.  “I rode a smart race tonight, and was able to catch and pass Nobody without any difficulty” reported a smiling Kate after the race. 

The final results were as follows:

8 mile course

Kate                       55:30                     10 points

Nobody else      DNF

12 mile course:

Only John            56:32                     10 points

Nobody                DNF

Tour of Medina - Stage Comments

Stage 3
It was another beautiful night for the last race of the 2012 TOM!  Temps in the mid 70's and the Nor' easter still blowing about 15 - 20 mph...hardly noticeable to this group of strong riders.  The last stage of the Tour finds the field dwindling to only 5 riders, with Kamaro Kate running the circuit in the mid-day before the wind or traffic began interfering with her blazing speed.  Fast John finds work to pinch him from both ends as he is unable to ride and gives up a sure Silver medal.  Never Rides Bob also misses the race and possible Bronze, not even able to muster a poor excuse!

The remaining four Rott's lined up to tackle the most important race of the Tour, the Hill Killer.  With Crankin' Carline in a solid lead, Slow John didn't even have to wish a flat tire on him as he sees the Silver in his grasp.  Director Dan does wish a flat on both of his "rivals", being especially pleased to see Slow J leave all his tire repair gear on the rock wall.  Timboree Tim looked to be a strong contender with his now found biking shorts, but had a substantial time difference that seemed difficult to close on the short, hilly course.  Perhaps that is why he rushed to the line to assure his first rider position, his pockets spilling roofing nails as he sprinted from the gates.  His valiant effort was not wasted as he pursued the coveted Copper Medal.

The results will be now entered in the annals of sporting history, adding to an already impressive medal showing for the US at the summer Olympics.

Stage 2

Another beautiful day for a race!  Temps in the upper 70’s and only a hint of the fabled nor’ easter with winds around 20 mph (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nor'easter).  Once again, only 7 real Rott’s showed up for the festivities.  As expected, the outcome was a replay of Stage 1 with Crankin’ Carline leading the pack as the John’s take the top four spots.  Only Never Ride Bob prevents a podium finish for the slowest John.

Today’s recap will be light, as the Director has been directed to stick to his corporate responsibilities.  The now-found formatted spreadsheet is attached. 

Thanks to Kamaro Kate for letting the Director know he left his front wheel laying the parking lot!

Stage 1

Turn-out was low for Stage 1 of the 2012 TOM.  Several riders were suspected to have work excuses, one planned a vacation (some commitment to this event!), and one didn’t want to have tired legs for some weekend family touring (Dairyland Dare?).  Others didn’t even bother sending a lame excuse.  Only 7 riders gathered at the starting line when the gun went off.

Conditions were grueling with temps in the 85 C range and winds almost noticeable.  Fast John C. raised the “obvious” question:  Do we stop at the stop signs during this First Stage?  Kate, having been last year’s recipient of a Medina invitation to either a fine or court date, pointed out the numerous black and white vehicles roaming the roads.  So the motion carried:  all riders were to come to a complete stop and put one foot on the pavement before briskly proceeding.   That decision proved quite smart when Second Fast John B., along with Timboree Tim and Director Dan, stopped at the Medina Rd stop sign to wait for the Medina Paddy Wagon.  SFJB was later heard to say “I surely would have run that stop sign and have collected a ticket, if not for the clear thinking of FJC.”  Note:  Director Dan always stops at all stop signs to prevent last year’s issue with Medina’s Finest.

Results of this Stage 1 race are below, along with some very inspiring comments.  As soon as the Director locates the pre-formatted spreadsheet, the results will be properly placed for future generations to envy. 

Place	Rider	min	sec	After Race Comments
1	John C	43	45	I came, I saw the stop sign, and I stopped
2	John B	44	42	I am hungry, John C. ate my lunch!
3	Bob	45	02	Santa, give me speed like Carline for X-mas
4	John H	49	07	STUPID SPORT, but lots of fun and great to be passed by everyone!
5	Dan	52	18	Worse than I thought - and I can think pretty bad thoughts
6	Tim	52	48	All the stopping and starting is very tiring
7	Kate	55	56	Cars - grrrr!

7/31/2012 Lyndale Road Race

"I've never seen so many tired big names in the Tour de France.  These fellows have all tried and have been destroyed"  Phil Liggett, July 30, 2000  (Insert Lyndale road race for TdF)

"Another perfect day of racing in Lyndale if your name is Barten.  The wind and temperature made these men challenge the course that broke lesser men, and of these there are some lesser men."  Ed Matthiesen, July 31, 2012

"Riding like the wind, Hinault is producing an attack never seen since the Halycon days of Eddie Merckx, the legendary Belgian who make a habit of achieving the impossible.  LeMond knows now that his friend at the dinner table is his rival on the road."  Phil Liggett, 1986 TdF  (Insert any name below with Hinault and any other name below with LeMond.)

"He looked at the gages on the power plant and saw that the engine could deliver no more.”   Mental thought when that devil-man of a rider Barten had crept into Matthiesen’s slip stream." Matthiesen 200m from the finish, July 31, 2012, Lyndale road race.

Sprint 1^st           2^nd        3rd

1 JC                  JS         CG

2 JB                  JC         EM

3 JC                  JS         JB

4 CG                 JB         JC

5 JB                  JS         JC

Total Sprint Points

JC 10

JS 6

JB 9

CG 4

EM 1

Finish Points

John Barten 10

Ed Matthiesen 9

Craig Gustafson  8

John Carline 7

Jim Smith 6

Bob 5

"Look at them!  They're like goldfish out there!"  Phil Liggett referring to heavy breathing riders in the 2000TdF.

"One by one these tired old rags from the midwest fell into the hell of exhaustion and collapsed on the tarmac of Highway 6."  E. Matthiesen, July 31, 2012

"The history of the Tour De France was chiseled into these walls of rock by men willing to ask more of themselves knowing that this time for some, the answers from their bodies would be ...no more." Phil Liggett, 1987 TdF

“This was harder than it looked.”  E. Matthiesen, 2012 Rottweeler races, said numerous times